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The Toes Have It June 2, 2014

Posted by J. in Genius.
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Is there anything sexier than a woman in sandals who is missing two toenails?

Depends on your idea of sexy.

I don’t know exactly what happened or what I did after my two-week hernia hiatus, but within a couple of days of lacing up my sneakers and hitting the pavement, my toenails started to hurt. Specifically, the ones right next to the big toes. The two piggies that stayed home, if you will.

No longer hungry for lunch? You're welcome.

No longer hungry for lunch? You’re welcome.

I have no clue what I did. I’ve never had this problem before, and I’m guessing my shoes fit the same way they did three weeks ago. I suspect bad form. When I was first starting to run, I found myself clenching my toes. That’s bad for your feets, apparently. I had to learn to relax my feet and let my toes splay out naturally, but at the time, I wasn’t running very far or for very long stretches. I wonder if, after taking a break, I reverted to clenching again, and because I’m running longer distances for a longer time, in addition to my second toes being as long as my big toes, they just took a beating.

I fear the nails will turn black and fall off eventually. I hope not. I’m consciously correcting my form while I run and keeping them relaxed, but damn. Those fuckers hurt. Not so much during the day when I can walk around barefoot or in sandals. And they don’t hurt inside my running shoes because my toe box is roomy and my socks fit me well. There’s no pain while I run.

But at night. Dear God, at night. Even the weight of the blanket hurts. Or lying in a position where that toe touches the mattress. It wakes me up. I haven’t had a good night sleep in a week because of it.

And you know what? TOTALLY WORTH IT.

I ran my fastest time on my 2.21 mile loop around the village this morning, and it felt fucking fantastic. Toenails be damned, I’m looking forward to running 3.5 tomorrow.

Looking. Forward. To.

I know, right?

I don’t care if I look like Bilbo Baggins in my sandals this summer. I’d rather have the world’s most ganked up feet and be able to run for miles and miles than to have fat, perfectly manicured toes any day.

Oh, and speaking of hobbits, I changed my My Fitness Pal food diary settings to more accurately correct my eating habits.

I'm embracing my inner halfling. After all, if you're going to walk in to Mordor, you better be in shape.

I’m embracing my inner halfling. After all, if you’re going to walk in to Mordor, you better be in shape.

On days that I run in the morning after putting the kids on the bus, I like to have something light that’s a bit of energy before I start out.  And coffee, because my heart doesn’t beat without it. But when I get home, I’m starving. My muscles are screaming at me, “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, PLEASE FEED ME.”

So I have a second breakfast.

And my journey to the hobbit side has begun…