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All Hail the Mighty Cthulhu! October 5, 2012

Posted by J. in Genius, Sticks and String.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It looks like I’m back in the design business!

Last weekend, I was showing the Hexapussy Hat progress to a group of my online friends. I was saying how I wasn’t sure what it was going to be. An octopus? A squid? Admiral Akbar? And a voice from the crowd piped up, “Cthulhu.”

I’m not a Lovecraft fan, or really into much sci-fi at all, and I lack serious nerd credentials, so I really didn’t think much of it at the time. But then not long after, another guy chimes in and says he’d love a “Cthulhu penis coozie.” Now, where I’m from, a coozie is a thing you slip around a beverage can to keep it from sweating on anything you don’t want to get wet. So my first thought was, “I could make that.” But my second thought was, “What the hell does a Cthulhu penis look like?”

I just saved you from having to Google “Cthulhu penis”. You’re welcome.

During the ten or fifteen minutes I spend looking at some truly disturbing tentacle porn, it was clarified in the thread that he meant a willy warmer. A peter heater. A man mitt. A cock sock.

THAT I can do.

So I spent my day with my needles, yarn, and a notebook and I designed a Cthulhu Cocksock, and I wrote up the pattern. And before the day was through, it was a thing.

For your thing.

Because I can, people. Just because I can.

The pattern for the Cthulhu Cocksock is available here in my Etsy shop and here on Ravelry. It’s only three bucks and it’s a quick, fun little knit. I think it would make a great stocking stuffer. There’s also a joke in there about stuffing socks, but I’ll have to get back to you with it.

And before you ask, I don’t as yet have any made up for non-knitters to buy, but I plan to make some for the shop in the future. Right now they’re a special order item only–contact me if you want one and we can hash out the deets.

It also has me jonesing to get back to working on my knitting book. I call it Clit One, Purl Two: Designs for Naughty Knitters. It features some lovely accessories such as The Man in the Boat Mitts, The Conception Cowl, The Placenta Hat, The Asshat, and the Ribbed for Her Pleasure Mittens.

I wasn’t joking.

Okay, back to my special orders list. I finished the second Dead Pony hat yesterday and today’s project is a Christmas present, so shhh…



1. Neil Cullen - October 5, 2012

This was made for me, it is awesome. Poops is one of the best online friends I’ve ever had.

J. - October 5, 2012

*mwah* You’re pretty awesome yourself, pal.

2. Jennifer Leigh Cuddeback - October 5, 2012

It’s beautiful. I may be threatening or promising my guy with one.

3. WIP Wednesday: Cthulhu Rises Again « askpoopsplease - October 10, 2012

[…] going to be a Cthulhu hat. Inspired by the Cthulhu Cocksock pattern, a hat was requested, probably because the intended recipient doesn’t have the correct […]

4. Confessions of a Shameless Yarn Slut: Naughty or nice?–by Josephine Myles with a special contribution from Anne Tenino (NSFW!) « The Armchair Reader - December 18, 2012

[…] If it’s willy warmers you’re after,  you’re also spoilt for choice. I have no idea where the picture at the top came from (someone sent it to me-Tam, I think), but I can link you to my favourite knitted pattern. Now, I don’t find willy warmers particularly sexy, so for me they have to succeed on a comedy level, or just contain something beautiful like the er… stitch patterns in the first picture. Yes, honest, that’s what I’m looking at. If it’s laughs you’re after, though, Jennifer Lacey’s fantastic Cthulhu cocksock pattern is available to buy for the bargain price of $3. You can find out more behind the genesis of this pattern in her blog post here. […]

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