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Sunday Showcase: Hail to the Chief! June 5, 2011

Posted by J. in Genius.

"Moyer Grateful for Years at LPD"--click the picture to read the interview with the Chief

Last night was Baboo’s retirement party.  After 27 years on the police force and 3 1/2 years as Chief, Baboo has hung up his badge and retired.  His last day was May 31st and he’s now a full-time golfer, errand boy, and niece-and-nephew spoiler.

It was a great party, but then it’s been my experience that a room full of cops combined with a room full of our relatives is seldom anything but a shitload of fun.   Lots of people got up and said some (mostly) nice things about him, and one of the officers put together a musical slideshow of pictures as well.

This was one of my favorite bits from the slideshow.  It was a voiceover by Paul Harvey, so you have to imagine hearing it in his voice:

A policeman is a composite of what all men are:  a mingling of saint and sinners, dust and deity.   Cold statistics wave the fan over the stinkers, underscore instances of dishonesty and brutality because they are news.   What that really means is they are exceptional, unusual– not commonplace.   Buried under the froth is the fact that less than one half of one percent of policemen misfit that uniform.   And that’s a better average than among clergymen.

What is a policeman made of?  He of all men is at once the most needed and the most unwanted, a strangely nameless creature who is “sir” to his face and “pig” behind his back.   He must be such a diplomat that he can settle differences between individuals so that each will think he won.  But if the policeman is neat, he’s a flirt. If he’s not, he’s a grouch.

In an instant he must make decisions which require months for a lawyer.  But if he hurries, he’s careless.  If he’s deliberate, he’s lazy.  He must be first to an accident, infallible with a diagnosis; he must be able to start breathing, stop bleeding, tie splints and above all be sure the victim goes home without a limp, or expect to be sued.

The police officer must know every gun, draw on the run, and hit where it doesn’t hurt.  He must be able to whip two men his size and half his age without damaging his uniform and without being brutal.

If you hit him, he’s a coward.  If he hits you, he’s a bully.

A policeman must know everything and not tell.  He must know where all the sin is and not partake.  The policeman must, from a single human hair, be able to describe the crime, the weapon and the criminal, and tell you where the criminal is hiding.  But if he catches the criminal he’s lucky; if he doesn’t, he’s a dunce.  If he gets promoted he has political pull.  If he doesn’t he’s a dullard.  The policeman must chase bum leads to a dead end and stake out ten nights to tag one witness who saw it happen, but refused to remember. He runs files and writes reports until his eyes ache to build a case against some felon who will get dealed out by a shameless shamus or an honorable who isn’t.

A policeman must be a minister, social worker, a diplomat, a tough guy, and a gentleman.  And of course he will have to be a genius… for he will have to feed a family on a policeman’s salary.

So in honor of Baboo, all the years he’s spent serving and protecting, and because there’s still time to get him a little something if you haven’t already, I’ve put together a Chief Mike ‘Baboo’ Moyer Police treasury.  Dedicated to the men and women behind the badges, wherever they serve, and to the people who love them.  Thank you, and let’s be careful out there…

Eric Estrada 8 x 10 Print by PerfectCursive

London's Jack the Ripper Macabre Brass Cuff by JezebelCharms

To Protect and Serve by MyBellasBeads

Police Magnet Set by Getagripmagnets

Buffalo Hero Framed Art by BuffaloPrincess

Police Wife Sterling Silver Hand Stamped Necklace by byHannahDesign

Donut Soap Gift Set by HowardsHome

Underpants Tighty Whitey Sterling Necklace by ballandchain

Crime Scene Bag by betwixxt

St. Michael Catholic Pocket Rosary by 15Promises

Roxanne you don't have to by Puddypress

Police Telegraphy Call Box Light Switch Plate Cover by CustomSwitchPlates

US Postage Stamp Pendant by woodbeedesign

Donut Police 8 x 8 by linedraw

Police Hero Word Scrapbook Album by effortlessheirlooms

Puffy Glass Keychain Vintage Golfer by goddessglass10359



1. Michelle Silvestri-Oetinger - June 5, 2011

What a Plethora of fabulous gifts!! Oh, and we had a wonderful night toasting the Chief!!! Good job at the door!!

2. bezzie - June 6, 2011

Great post!
Mooch would love this–he freaking loves the Po Po! Always waving to them as they drive by…hee hee.

3. Pippa Posey - June 6, 2011

Right again Poops. A roomful of cops and then mix in some relatives = FUN! AND…I was given a junior, superdedooper, sheriff’s badge lapel pin by our Belknap County Sheriff, so watch out – I think this means I can now run stop signs and smoke my tires over at the Walmart parking lot.

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