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WTF Friday: Imma Snort Some Eggnog Now May 20, 2011

Posted by J. in FYI, Genius, Other People's Genius.

Or maybe some Calgon.  Hard to say.

I had heard–vaguely–something about kids these days snorting bath salts to get high.  I didn’t quite know if you could get high off of bath salts or not, but then I’ve always liked to make myself dizzy with a nice, fat permanent marker, so there you go.

Don't snort this shit. It's fucking bad for you. Seriously.

Don't snort this shit either. It goes in the tub, dumbass. "Abbot's Habit Medicinal Bath Salts" by OldMonastery on Etsy

Anyway, the Bath Salts in question turn out to be a drug of some sort that you can actually buy in a “smoke shop” and it’s legal.  For now.  And it’s not actually something you’d put in the tub, it’s just what they call the drug.  Like how if you take a Black Beauty you don’t have to swallow a whole horse.  Google it.  You’ll find out all you need to know.

Here’s where it get’s funny.  Not “ha-ha” funny but “if I don’t laugh at this I’m going to kill someone” funny.

Some dumbass kids have managed, as kids so often do, to take dumbass to new heights.  Because taking drugs isn’t stupid enough to begin with, they’ve mistaken the actual drug called “Bath Salts” for plain, old bath salts.  Like what you get at Walgreens or under your grandma’s bathroom sink.

Needless to say, they’re getting fucked up alright.  But more in a “lifetime of visits to the ENT” kind of way.  You want to know what snorting regular bath salts does to the inside of your nasal cavity?  If you decide to find out, don’t do an image search.  You’ve been warned.

And with pictures that will put me off rare hamburgers for a few weeks at least, I thought that was the end of the Teh Stoopid, but I was so wrong.

Just don't think getting high off it is a good idea. Fuckwit. And keep your hands off my damn cinnamon, too.

It seems that you, and by you I mean your dumbass kid, can get high from nutmeg.

You can snort it, or eat it.  But to feel any hallucinogenic effects, you have to ingest a shitload of it.  Which, as I’m sure you can imagine, makes you pretty sick. It’s true.  Google away.

I don’t think I’ve ever used nutmeg in a recipe that called for more than a teaspoon of the stuff because it’s such a strong spice to begin with.  Go open the jar of nutmeg you have in the kitchen and take a deep whiff.  The smell alone would make snorting it a challenge.  And what would you put it in to cut the taste?

The mind boggles.

What the fuck is wrong with people?  I’m going to go huff a marker.



1. Yorkie - May 20, 2011

I worked with a HS Math teacher who had about 100 black Dry Erase markers stacked up in a pile next to his desk. His used them prodigiously in his teaching, demonstrating on the white board in great detail, so much so that he’d go through one eraser a month. The air was filled with Dry Erase dust, and the room reeked of it. It may be why he was so insane/brilliant, although he swore he kept the empties because he was trying to convince the administration it was cheaper to order refill kits instead of new ones.

Personally I think he huffed ’em, but he said I had fantastic tits, so I let a lot of things slide.

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