jump to navigation

You Could Win a Ceramic Panda February 21, 2011

Posted by J. in FYI, Genius.

I’m in the mood to hold a blog contest.

I haven’t had one in ages, and I even though I don’t have anything to celebrate, bloggally speaking, I’m loving my new home here at WordPress and I feel like spreading the love.

I’m happy with my new digs! There’s just something about this layout and all the cool, fun stuff I can do here (and more easily in most cases) that makes blogging so much more fun that it used to be.  One of the things I love is the built-in site stats and how I can see at a glance how many people are reading the blog and when.

I’m not one to get hung up on stats or anything, but if WordPress is going to provide them in such marvelous detail for free, the least I can do is check them out and see if I can glean any useful information from them.  To that end, one of the things I’ve noticed, thanks to the delightfully easy-to-read daily bar graph, is that Wednesday through Friday are my biggest days for readership.  My audience drops off over the weekend and then stays relatively low until Wednesday rolls around again.  Obviously, it stands to reason that I’d get more hits on days that I have a new post, and I seem to only write new posts on theme days.

Here’s a little thing about Poops you may not know: there are things that are not necessarily understood in visual terms by most people that I, not being most people, understand in visual terms.

For example, in my head, I look at the week with Monday through Friday in a neat line, like a row of store fronts along a main street.  The weekend is off to the side like a ferry, not attached to the rest of the week so much as it is just tethered there rather tenuously.  It docks on the tail end of Friday, you get off and onto it and then it cruises slowly around to Monday where you get back on the “mainland” and make your way down the street.

Here’s where it gets weird.  When you combine the way I see the week laid out like a street combined with the frequency of my blog posts, in my mind, Monday and Tuesday are like empty storefronts that are just standing in the way of Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and the lack of balance on the “street” annoys me.  It grates on me.  I don’t care that Saturday and Sunday are less populous because they’re not built on solid ground.  They float about in a meaningless sort of way.  They get me from Friday back to Monday, but the emptiness at the start of the week is 0ff-putting to me.

The Devil's Scorecard

I know it doesn’t make much sense.  It’s like trying to explain why I hate prime numbers.  I just do.  They make me uneasy when I run across them.  I don’t believe in numbers having any significance or special powers or anything, I just don’t like primes.  I’m not fond of odd numbers, either, but if you can divide it by something it makes me feel better.

I also know that I don’t have what it takes to be a daily blogger at this point.  I think to put something up every day requires an avalanche of brilliance that I just don’t have.  But the way I see it, I only need to post on Monday to even out the rest of the week in a way that will soothe this particular quirk.

And this is where we come back ’round to the contest. If you’re still with me, congratulations!  I should give you a prize just for tenacity.

I’ve decided that Monday is going to be People’s Choice Monday.  You choose the topic for me to write about.  Submit them here in the comments section.  I will compile them into a list and randomly assign them a date, unless a topic fits in particularly well into a particular date for some reason.  Then, I will enter all the participants names into a hat and draw for two prizes.  The first prize will go to my favorite suggestion and the second will be randomly chosen from all the entries.

Here are the rules:

1.  The contest begins as soon as this is posted until Sunday, February 27th at midnight, which gives you the better part of the week to get in on the fun.  Any suggestions received after that time may be included in the topics list but won’t be entered into the drawing because I have to draw the line somewhere and I don’t know how long it will take me on Monday morning to compile the list and pick the winners.   Best not to take any chances and leave it to the last minute.

2.  You may enter as many times as you like.  In fact, I encourage multiple entries.  For every topic suggestion you’ll be entered into the drawing, so if you submit three ideas, your name will go in three times.  I like to reward over-achievers.

3.  No topic is off-limits, however you should bear in mind that I don’t use my blog to defend either my politics or my religion, so should your topic touch on either of those things, you may find me going wildly off-topic.  Oh, and I’ve never read and have no intention of reading The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, so any references to it or Dr. Who are going to also go wildly off topic because I don’t give a flying fuck about either of those things.

4.  I LOVE topic ideas that are fully thought-out themes.  I find Madhouse Wednesday difficult because they tend to be one or two word topics and while it leaves the playing field wide open as to what to write about, I prefer that you tell me more specifically what you want me to write about.  You can ask me a question, or posit a scenario and tell me to write about it.  If you want me to look at a picture and write a short story about it, I’m willing to give it a go.  The sky is the limit, really.

That’s it for the deets, I think.  The prize is going to be a little something made by Poops.  I don’t know what exactly because I don’t have a winner yet.  I figure I’ll pick the winners and let them choose from a lovely and questionably tasteful selection of prizes, like the showcase on the old Wheel of Fortune.

"I'll take the macrame owl for $400...the ceramic panda for $750...and the rest on a gift certificate."

I don’t know about you, but I’m so excited I might not be able to sleep tonight.



1. CBear - February 21, 2011

i LOVE you. that is all. the end.

2. Pippa Posey Peanut Butter Pants - February 21, 2011

What? Oh right…you lost me on the numbers thing for a brief moment but I’m on board with you on how you visualize weekdays. I view the months of the year in a quirky yet somewhat similar way. We can talk about it some time when no one else is listening.

Topics: I loved reading about your job and life behind the scenes in the theater a few weeks ago. I’m thinking there must be lots and LOTS more interesting stories to tell. If I win, I’d rather you let me unload some on the crap that’s stored out in my garage on you instead K?

3. Haley - February 21, 2011

I’m going to have to do some thinking. Preferably when I’m not zonked out thanks to a cold.

4. Jenn in RI - February 21, 2011

I would like a dissertation on why it is the manufacturers of boys’ clothing continue to make the best looking shirts available with white as a primary background color? I am also puzzled as to why it is so difficult to find jeans with snaps instead of buttons when they reach a certain age and countless other ways they make it near to impossible to get our kids dressed and keep them decent looking for 12 minutes. Thoughts?

5. Kathleen - February 21, 2011

I want to know more about life on the road. I wanted to do that after college, and instead had a bad first marriage. Or I’d like to hear about how you met your husband. And I’d like to hear about why you moved back to your childhood home. I’d love to live in mine, but it’s not in the cards.

6. Gary M - February 21, 2011

I’d like to hear an account of how living in New Hampshire is unique; customs, Colloquialisms, unique cuisine, quirks and kinks common to you and your neighbors, but strange and/or funny to the rest of the world. Also, I’m guessing you too are a product of a fine Catholic school education. How about some memories of that?

7. Jenn in RI - February 21, 2011

Please let me know why Mountain Dew makes me happy all the way down to my toes in a way that water never can…have you got a similar (tame) vice? If so, feel free to wax poetic upon it’s sublimeness! 😀

8. Penny Karma - February 22, 2011

(wringing hands in fiendish delight)

9. Sistah - February 22, 2011

As you know, Sistah totally understands your weird number issues and how you visualize the calendar. For me, Saturday and Sunday hang above the neat row of storefronts like so many clouds, while a year of months reads from left to right until June when it reads top to bottom. I cannot recommend this number/calendar business as a topic since clearly only people who share your DNA understand, and then only a select few.

10. Jenn in RI - February 22, 2011

Do you think that a Mom with wackadoo OCD issues (feel free to contact me for off the record interviews) automatically passes the tendencies on to her children?

11. WTF Friday Redux: Clearly, I Have Issues « askpoopsplease - February 25, 2011

[…] If you haven’t entered already, what are you waiting for? The details of the contest are here. […]

12. Jenn in RI - February 26, 2011

Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! “You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”
I want to be a WINNAH!!!!!!!

13. A Dream Deferred « askpoopsplease - April 11, 2011

[…] generally understood in a visual sense, as I said a couple of months back when I talked a bit about how I view the days of the week as it relates to my daily blog posts and reader traffic.  I conducted a terribly informal and […]

14. You Could Win a Giant Light-Up Picture of the Azores* « askpoopsplease - September 3, 2012

[…] ago, I asked for ideas of things I could blog about. I held a wee contest in which I sent some amazing treasures to a couple of lucky readers, one for having what I thought […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: