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Shoes January 26, 2011

Posted by J. in Other People's Genius.

Of course being an Etsy shop owner, I have occasion to stop by and see what folks are making these days, and because the topic this week is shoes, that’s where I started my most recent search.

For the most part, I was disappointed in what I found.  There was shockingly little creativity as far as shoe crafts goes.  Lots of flip flops with shit glued, sewn, or stapled on.  Lots of knit and crocheted footwear for babies.

And honestly, anyone can paint a pair of Chuck Taylors, Vans, or white canvas Keds.   And apparently, anyone has.  Some have painted footwear with a great deal of skill, some that…well, let’s say there are folks out there ruining perfectly good shoes.

But this pair of saucy black pumps caught my eye.  Wholly impractically, but still…

I'd wear these.She took a pair of black pumps and painted the soles.  She has other painted-sole shoes in her shop as well. Here is the original listing if you want to grab these for yourself.

Now, I love the idea of having the decoration on the sole.  Love.  It’s not in-your-face.  In fact, I doubt most people would even notice the detail unless you showed them.  I don’t know how the painting doesn’t get ruined when you walk around in them, though.  I guess the largest part of the work is up under the heel so it never contacts the floor, and if you only wore them inside they’d stay pretty awesome.

And they’re Star Wars, so…yeah, I just love ’em.

Speaking of Chuck Taylors, I found some Nun Chucks.

I'd knit these.Cool, right?  I also love the argyle ones in the shop.  So sweet!  Check out the original listing here.  I love all of these.  I wish I’d thought of it, to be honest.  Yorkie, lookit the skull pair!

Like I said, any idiot can paint a pair of Chucks.  But knitted ones?  And intarsia nuns, no less?  Now that’s kicking it up a notch.

However, there’s kicking it up a notch and then there’s maybe going a notch too far.  I almost saved this pair for WTF Friday.

Check these out:

What are these?I had to do some photo-editing to even get them an NC-17 rating.  I like that in a pair of shoes.  You can view the actual unexpurgated version of the Regretsy listing here.  And if you go to the Regretsy listing you can click the photo to go to the Etsy page for these shoes.  Needless to say, they’re NSFW.

From the actual artist, thefunkyjunky:  I have been getting lot of messages about these shoes. Yes, I can make these in ANY size! Please keep in mind if you need these shoes in a different size they will not look exactly the same as the ones pictured. All of my shoes are one of a kind! In the message to seller at checkout please specify what size you need and if you have a preference of theme for example…” size 10 and I want a lot of anal pictures and sayings!” or ” size 6 with a lot of girl on girl action” If you do not speciify a theme you will get a mix of everything like the ones listed. If no size is specified then I will ship you the exact shoes pictured which are a size 9. If you would like these shoes but in heels please convo me, and I can set up a custom reserved listing for you in your size. Grab these while you can, a lot of people are showing an interest!!

I am also making these flats in a marijuana theme so look for those in the next couple days!

This particular pair of shoes was featured on Regretsy and has since been sold.  I love Regretsy.  Their own description of the site really sums it up: where DIY meets WTF.   The good folks at Regretsy search Etsy for items that make you scratch your head in wonder and amusement.  And laugh.

I think porn shoes is a great idea.  But I don’t know why she chose flats.  I would have thought that a 7-inch platform stilletto heel would have been more appropriate and functional.  After all, where do you wear flats?  To the office.   On a casual picnic. Church, perhaps.    Where do you wear explicit pornography?  To a club.  To your sexual addiction support group.  Church, perhaps.

Maybe it’s meant to be a statement about the Madonna/Whore labels that are ascribed to women.  How we are expected to be moral and upright in the community but depraved sluts behind the closed bedroom door.  Somehow, I think not.

I wonder if she’d make a matching purse…




1. Karen - January 26, 2011

Porn shoes on stiletto hooker boots.

2. Kate - January 26, 2011

I bet you get some seriously… interesting search-term hits on this one for a while. You’ll get yourself a whole new niche following, how exciting!

Thanks for playing along – even if it’s an uninspiring topic this week (and, true ’nuff, I didn’t choose them all this time, so I can claim plausible deniability on any of the topics you don’t like)… I didn’t play the last two weeks, and I *do* know what I want to write for those. Sigh.

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